Friday, 15 July 2011

Flying fox na spider koros

From: Elizabeth Seseare


Flying fox na spider koros cos flying fox stuck lo web blo spider na spider tokim flying fox-osem na mipla sa tok raun lo sun na ba u lukluk gut..na flying fox tokim spider u too lukluk gut na tromai fishin net blo u,meikim na m kam pas lo diwai......=]

'Na Yu Tu Sanap lo bris yah!'

From: Emmanuel Narokobi


Tupela man i ron kam lo wanpela bris (bridge), wanpela em waitman na kam lo wanpela sait na narapela em has ples blo PNG na em kam lo narapela sait. Na yu save olsem dispela em wanpela liklik bris tumas olsem na ol ron kam lo kar blong ol na ol bump lo namel. Ol wokim traipela kros nau. Waitman belhat na singaut, 'You Son of a Bitch, Look at What You've Done?'. Man PNG tu belhat na bekim, 'Na Yu Tu Sanap lo bris yah!'

Honey I tickle you, you tickle me and...

From: Freda T Talao Jr


1pla meri PNG maretim waitman na tupla gat haus igat swimming pool. Taim tupla laik go swim tupla save hamamas na pilai igo ikam namel long tupla yet. 1pla taim tupla swim stap na pokim pokim sait blo tupela yet na kirap nogut meri ya kapupu insait long wara and bubble kamap antap long wara. Waitman blo em kirap nogut na askim "honey what's that?" Na em pointim go olsem long wara bubble baksait long meri blo em. Na meri tok "Honey I tickle you, you tickle me and I "pepe win"... lol

Mama karim mi long season blo Laulau

From: Lamila Wali


Wanpla lapun mahn go long hausik long kisim marasin bicos em e pilim sik. Sister long hausik e askim em; "Papa, wanem date of birth blo you"? lapun mahn e bekim olsem; " Pikini, day na date mi no save, tasol mi tingim olsem mama karim mi lo season blo Laulau"!! hahaha..

Hostile, pig style, dok style

From: Mohd Aiman


Wanpla turist laik go hagen show na em kalap long balus na sindaun klostu wantaim wanpla kange,,balus go antap nau,,turist askim,,,hamas save yu gat long PNG,,na em bekim o mistap Mosbi,,pikini meri wok Lae, Pikini man marit Rabaul mix Buka,,na liklik sikul wewak,,na turist tok,,na yu save raun lukim ol pikini tu,,na kange bekim yes,,turist tok,,ating yu must know more about your geography (ples ground long PNG) na kange tok yes yah,,na turist tok,,I like PNG its a hostile country,,,kange bekim,,yu name it,,hostile, pig style, dok style na kain kain style too em stap stap,,,

Singsing lo ol baby tasol

From: David Putulan

 Wanpela lapun harim wanpela tolai rock band singsing lo Meri na em tok ' ol png band save singsing lo ol meri tumas..ol waitman orait..ol save singsing lo ol baby tasol' ha ha

Ninja Congregation

From: Gray Puinam


Pasto askim congragatson blo m lo church na no save spak man to m stap. m singaut: umi olgeta lo hea u sait em karem pawa? ol man singaut, Jesus. spak man stap baksit mete singaut cam, PNG Powa. ol man meri ol tanim fes go lo m. na pasto singaut ken, u sait m karem pawa? olgeta singaut gen, Jesus na spak ma sigaun gen, PNG powa. nau bel blo pasto m kaskas nau. nau m singaut 3rd one nau. u sait i gat powa? olget sinagaut Jesus na sipak man singaut PNG powa gen nau pasto kiram na tok: I cast u in da naim of Jesus! sipak man singaut: cam n I blok it, na crosim han blo m.

Don't baby me

From: Lynn Kewa Ravu


Wanpla sumatin go bek lo ples na mitim gf blo em....tupla stori na man tokim meri " I love you baby" meri kirap na tok "dont baby me like you born me"

Kumuls vs Oyaba


One of my all time favourites. Lots of different variations but I like this one the best. Wanpla man go lo buai market na kaikai buai stap lo side blo PRL. Em stori wantaim buai seller ya na em tokim em, 'Aye, ol Oyaba bai kam play lo PRL ya' na buai seller kirap na tok 'Larim ol kam, ol Kumuls bai winim ol ya'

Lapun lukim em yet long mirror

From: Ceslie Kauvu Hou


Lapun man laik go lukim ol pupu blon en lon Mosbi na kam kalap lon balus. Lusim Wewak go insait lon balus nau stap liklik, em laik go pispis na askim wokmeri lon balus meri ya kisim em go sowimem hap lon go pispis, lapun man opim doa laik go isait kam bak out ken man hamas taim em makin olsen. Igo nau ken, go askim meri ya lon balus, mi laik go insait na olget taim mi go wanpla man stap insait. Meri ya kam lukimya nogat lapun lukim em yet lon mirror na ting wanpla man stap insait.


hope that made you laugh hehehe

Sugar yes, tasol susu mi laikim bihain

From: Alexander B├╝ttner


Man hagen kalap lo balus na go lo mosby fisrst taim blo em . na stewardess askim em yu laikim coffee wantaim sugar na milk man hagen girap na shame too wantaim merry luk luk lo em man em i tok yah sugar yes tasol susu mi laikim bihain. em tingim susu blo merry hiah ha ha ha hi

Wari blong man ino gat tit

From: Gregory Moses


Wanpla hia blo yupla olgeta ........ Wanpla Pastor autim tok lo haus lotu stap na tokim ol congregation blo em olsem, "yupla ol lain save bikhet na les long lotu yupla mas save olsem taim yupla dai, bai yupla olgeta go long hell na sigirapim ol tit (teeth) blo yupla long hap na singaut stap." Baksait long haus lotu ya wanpla papa olgeta tit bruk pinis sindaun stap na isi em apim han go antap na askim pasta, "Pasta na olsem wanem long mipla ol lain nau nogat tit hia long graun ya?" Pasta tanim tasol na tokim em, "papa noken wari husat nau yu nogat tit ol bai givim yu nupla long hell na yu bai kaikai blo yu long hap." Top day na wiken lo yupla.

Grapes na Pineapple

From: Oscar Ina


Tupla turists kam slip lo wanpla backpaker accomodation blo wanpla farmer lo country side. Lo night farmer totok strong lo tupla: "Yutupla ken mekim samting lo laik blong yutupla, tasol wanpla samting tasol, mi no laikim yutupla lo tachim. Dispela m pikinini girl blo mi" Orait wanpla taim long nait, tupla kisim taim stret na nogat choice, olsem na ol creep go lo rum blo pikinini girl lo nait. Taim farmer find out, m askim tupla. "Husat mekim"? Na tupla wantaim putim han. "ok punishment blo yutupla, go lo farm na painim wanem best fruit na karim kam lo mi nau tasol" First man karim bundle grapes kam. Farmer tok pusim wan wan long lo ass blo u. Taim man ya mekim, m start lo laugh go bikpla stret nau. Na farmer askim. "U laugh lo wanem?" "Nogat mi laugh lo friend blo mi ya, m wok lo pickim pineapple stap."

Bad Lock na Master Key


From: Delilah Kond

wanpla besti salim disla kam oh (*shshs laf lo u yet*):
Woman asks:
If I sleep with 3 men, everyone calls me a Pamuk. But when a man sleeps with 8 girls, everyone calls him Pawa Mangi. How come?
Man replies:
Very simple. When one lock can be opened by 3 different keys, it's called a bad lock. But when one key can open 8 different locks, we call it a Master Key.

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Sospen i boss


From: Sarah Watson


thanks for da add !!! looking forward to some jokes :)

heres one for the night .........

Man opim dor blo haus stret, pot bounce lo hed blo m. Meri askim, 'husait displa meri answerim fon blo u?', poro m faul..meri kirap tokim pikinini boy, 'u tok, meri ya tok 1m?' mangi sigarapim het na tok, mi ringm papa na 1pla meri tok, "ur cal wil b chargd afta d tone!"

Tromwei Anga


From: Tribal Mystic


Ok, wanpela joke blong wiken.

Pasindia sip, Totol karim ol lain igo daun long Finch na wanpela meri Sepik, nem blong em 'Anga' em kalap tu. Ol igo long sua nau, ol lain wok sip na kepten ol singaut: "Tromwei Anga igo; Tromwei Anga igo daun nau - hariap! Tromwei Anga". Ol i minim long anga blong sip.
Tasol taim meri Sepik Anga i harim, em i panik pinis na em sanap hariap na ron igo long kepten na em putim tupela hand blong em olsem bosmeri long sait blong em na em singaut strong long kepten: "Ino inap na ino ken; Anga tu em baim sip na em i kam. Anga em pikinini blong man ya - ino inap yu tromwei em igo daun long solwara".

Using "Readers" to Keep Up-to-Date with Blogs and Sites

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Personally, I use Google Reader to organise all the blogs and websites that I subscribe to on the one page.


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Monday, 11 July 2011

Papa i sotwin long painim ston

 From:  Martin Maden  

Dispela tok pilai, mi bin putim em pinis igo insait long wanpela piksa oli kolim "Tinpis Run". Long "Tinpis Run" mi bin tanmi liklik gen na mi bin katim aut sampela hap. Tasol dispela long tamblo long hia em original. Stori ikam long Manus. Mi bin harim long 1983..
--------------


Papa, i bin lusim pikinini long haus na em laik hait stil igo giris wantem narapela meri ken long gaden. Yu save, Papa em i bin pasim tingting pinis long paul wokabaut blong em yet, na em ino luksave olsem pikinini man blong em i bin tait ikam bihainim em long baksait istap.
Baga i taitim bun igo stret, na emi go kamap long arere long gaden blong ol lain gel pren blong em. Tasol planti lain i bin stap insait long gaden na baga man nau, em hait baksait long wanpela tapiok stap na lukluk tasol igo long gel pren.
Tasol gel pren tu ya blari sit, em ino lukluk ikam long tapiok blong em. Em bisi nambaut tasol long kamautim garas arere long ol taro. Olsem na man, papa ya em tait igo bagarap olgeta nau. Yu save em lukim hau gel pren i wok long kamautim ol garas na emi kisim filings. Leva blong em tu i ron hariap liklik na wei em i pulim win nau, man, kolostu em bai kamautim ol lip bilong tapiok tu ya.
Orait nau em stat long painim ol liklik ston nambaut blong toromoi igo long gel pren blong em. Tasol papa tu em olsem feelings bagarpim em na em ino toromoi ol ston steret. Em wok long popaia nambaut na ston igo pinis nau. Orait em lukluk strong yet long meri na em i putim han tasol ikam long baksait na painim ston nambaut igo ikam.


Man turangu, em kirap nogut steret taim pikinini man blong em yet i tok: "Papa em ya. Sampela mo ston ya. Sutim em." Ayo...

Saturday, 9 July 2011

Papa i stilim kaikai blong ol pikinini

From Dan Jorgensen


Mama karim nupela pikinini, na bikpela pikinini meri i save kros, long wanem bebi i stap long susu olgeta taim, na i luk olsem mama lus tinktink long nambawan pikinini. Olsem na em i tinktink i stap - hau bai mi stretim wari bilong mi? Nogat - em painim sampela marasin nogut long bus, na wilwilim gut na wokim sampela samting nogut longen - em i ting olsem: taim ol i slip, mi putim sampela marasin long susu bilong mama, na kwiktaim dispela binatang bebi bai pinis. Tudak pinis, ol i slip, na em i wokim olsem. Tulait bruk, i go ausait na waswas, na bihain harim mama i krai. Meri i go long hap na tok, "olsem wanem?" Na mama bekim tok olsem: "trangu, Papa bilong yu indai pinis!"

Thursday, 7 July 2011

Main Switch Board

From: Berry Loli


Tripla man complain long wanem wok, em stap long time, long ples graun. Bricklayer tok wok blon em kamap pas bikos ol lain Egypt wokim pyramid long time bipo. Kampenta tok wok blon em stap long time, long wanem sip blon Noah ol wokim pas. Pawa man lap isi tasol na tok, time bikman tok there shall be light. Na yutupla ting husait tru sanap long main switch board?

Mi giamanim God tasol ya

From: Martin Maden 


Papa na pikinini tupela i laik igo toromoi huk long painim pis. Tupela i wok long redim kanu i stap na Papa i tokim pikinini: "Yumi tupela pasim ai na yumi pre pastem bifo yumi go antap long solwara". Papa i pre: "Got Papa, mitupela pikinini i laik go hukim pis. Mitupela i pre olsem bai you givim planti pis long mitupela. Sapos yu givim planti pis long mitupela, bai mitupela givim ol bikpela pis long yu na ol liklik tasol bai mitupela karim igo long peles". 


Taim tupela i go antap long solwara nau, man, tupela ino isi long pulim pis. Taim kanu i pulap liklik nau em tupela i pul igo bek sua. Tupela i klinim ol pis pinis, na putim ol igo long basket na tupela i stat wokabaut igo long haus nau. Tasol pikinini i tingim pre blong papa na em askim: "Papa, na yu tok taim yu pre olsem ol bikpela pis bai yumi tupela givim long Got ya? Papa i tok: "Sssh. Pasim maus, mi bin giamanim Got tasol ya".

Meaning em wanem kain tok stret?

From: Jack Steven 


Wanpela miting bin kamap long wanpela ples na man husait igo pass long miting ino gutpela tumas long kamap siaman. Em iwok long tok hap pidgin na english na planti man long dispela ples ibin faul tru. Wanpela hap tok em isave tok em meaning. Em iwok long usim dispela hap tok na wanpela papa em harim igo na em faul olgeta na em askim siaman. Siaman, dispela hap tok meaning em wanem kain tok stret, siaman bekim olsem meaning long tok pisin em as bilong tok. Orait miting igo yet na paps pilim olsem em sindaun igo na mit blong bun as bilong em pen na em i laik sanap liklik. Em kirap tasol na singaut long siaman olsem, siaman meaning bilong mi pen an mi laik sanap liklik na go raun autsaid na bihain mi kam bek long miting. Ha aha ha ha ha

Na dasal, mi tok nadasal

From:Jack Steven 


Wanpela boss crew blo bus ron long Wau Lae highway. Bagaros em boy sepik na em wantaim draiva bilong em collektim ol pasindia long go lo Lae. Igat gutpela namba liklik bilong ol pasindia ibin kalap long bus (25 sitter coaster bus) tasol ol iwok long raun yet painim sampela moa pasindia. Bus igo stop nau boss crew kalap kam daun tasol sanap long dua bilong go autside long bus tasol tokim ol pasindia long go daun. "Na dasal, mi tok nadasal, wologeta kwan dan, kwan dan nadasal". (Nau tasol mi tok,olgeta go daun. go daun nau tasol). Bagaros ino laik tok save olsem taia flat na ol i bai senisim, nogat em opim dua tasol hatim stret ol pasindia long go daun. Tok pisin tasol em brukim stret...Ha ha ha ha ha...

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Spellim 'cow'

From: Joyce Kuri 




Wanpla tisa is askim wanpla mangi igat sevenpla krismas long spellim 'cow'. Mangi yah i paol long spellim na tisa i salim em go long haus. Papa bilong mangi yah i belhat nogut stret long tisa. Em go long skul na krosim tisa olsem: 'Yu ting pikinini blo mi bikpla mangi na you krosim em ah? You skelim sais blo cow na sais blo em!! Yu no laik tokim em lo spelim ol liklik samting inap lo size blo em!! Kain olsem 'mosquito' nabaut!!!'

Kaikai tapiok na slip


From: Joyce Kuri



Digicel pomotion is kamap na boi ros i ringim missus long nupla namba blong em. Missus i ansa na tok 'i love my digicel'. Boi ros kirap bekim: 'Congratulations you just won my tapiok'. Missus bel kaskas na tok: 'Yu harem, mi sore long yu yah, avinun yu kam long haus bai nogat kaikai, yu bai kaikai tapiok blo yu yet na slip'!!

Ruba Na Stick

From: Joyce Kuri

Wanpla papa wantaim 8pla pkinini blo em na misis blo em i wetim bus stap na wanpla aipas i kam. Taim bus i kamap nogat inap spes na misis wantaim ol pikinin tasol i kalap. Papa na aipas wanbel lo wokabaut. Taim tupla i go long rot, san tu i hot na tupla tuhat stret. Antap long displa aipas tu i wokim traipla noise long paitim wokabaut stik long soim em rot. Papa i give up stret lo harim noise na tanim tokim aipas 'traim na putim ruba lo wokabaut stick blo yu, em wokim planti noise tumas'. Aipas belhat nogut true na tanim tokim papa ya: 'Sapos yu bin putim ruba long stik blo yu bai mipla no nap wokabaut olsem!'

Tanim Tok


From: Shinobi Yet


Pidgin to its coolest definitions!!
Abstract from a Safety Meeting:


Expat Supervisor: " Safety is important!, If you think otherwise, you can kiss your ass goodbye and go home!!"
PNG Translator: " Seifti em i bikpla samting!!, Sapos yu ting nogat, yu ken kaikai maus blo ass blo yu, tata, na go lo haus!!"


'Road-testim' Kanu

From: George Waai 


Wanpla fisherman baem sampla man alpim em wokim wanpla niupla kanu blo em. Kanu pinis na em kusai lo misis blo em-hamamas wantem. Em kisim meri blo em lo niupla kanu blo em na go 'road-testim'. Tupla stap longwe lo nambis na mama pilim pispis na isi tasol sindaun lo poret blo kanu givim baksait lo papa na pispis insait. Papa em givim baksait olim string na em harim wara ron na tanim, man em belhat stret na singaut antap lo mama korosim em -"Why yu pispis lo kanu blo mi? Yu mas longlong or wanem?" - Tupla pul go bek lo nambis na em still komplen lo mama - kamap lo nambis na komplen yet! Mama belhat nau na sem wantem tanim lo papa na singaut strong lo em - " Mi pispis wanpla taem t'sol lo kanu blo yu, na yu ino isi lo komplen - yu save pispis lo kanu blo mi olgeta nait ya - mino save komplen" -

Haitim ol stick, ston blo yupla

From: Joyce Kuri 


Misis laik beten lo kaikai na boi ros kam sidaun na olgeta samting lo trausis kapsait kam autsait. Misis lukim na tok 'bipo lo yumi beten, displa em no ples blo kros-pait. So inap yupla haitim ol stick, ston blo yupla'.

Lu-ci-fer baby dinosaur

 From: Joyce Kuri


Wanpla lapun papa go lo wanpla crusade na ol lain singsing 'Crucified laid behind the stone'. 
Lapun ting ol bagarapim Satan na em pulim lo sinsing olsem, 'Lu-ci-fer baby dinosaur'.

Jumping to a Conclusion




Wanpela paps go long Lae show na lukim ol wait man kalap long parasut. Man, tingting kilim em taim em igo bek long peles sampela dei bihain. Wanpela morning taim em kirap na tokim ol lain long peles olsem em bai soim wanpela nupela samting ol wait i mekim na em lukim long show. Boy kisim ambrela bilong tambu meri bilong em na tokim ol lain long peles kam bung long as bilong wanpela bikpela diwai namel long peles. Bagaros igo antap pinis em opim ambrela na tok em bai kalap na bai flot isi isi kam daun, man indai bilong em stret taim em kalap na ambrela ya, wind opim.

Ol isave tok, PNG, land of the unexpected.. ha ha ha ha ha



Guitar is your food

From:David Putulan 


Wanpela waitman go long sepik na paitim guitar stap na singsing. Wanpela ples man go sanap na tok "ah master, guitar em kaikai blong en stret yah". Waitman kirap na askim narapela man sanap stap, "What did he say?" Man yah tu no save gut long tok english so em i tok: "No he said guitar is your food".
he he

Honey, Sweetie and Buai

From: Jessie May Joske 



Okay mi no gutpla stret lo jokes but bai mi traim...mi harim disla joke lo FB somewhere, sorry disla em tokpisin mix English joke...mi sa Hamamas lo readim ol joke lo disla wall.......Ol funny jokes stret....

Okay,
Wanpla png couple I sindaun lo restaurant na kaikai I stap. Lo klostu table tupla marit blo Europe I sindaun na husband I tok lo meri blo em "Honey, pass me the salt please....."

Na lo narapla klostu table tu, displa expatriate man askim meri blo em " Sweetie, pass me the salt, please.

Oh okay, PNG man em tingting ol disla tupla foreign man callim meri blo ol lo samting ol i laikim....so em I tok lo meri blo em " Buai, pass me the salt, please"........

Lamb Flaps blo Haus Krai

From:

Francis Dagg





One for the tonite: 


Lapun yah bikpla sick kisim em na klostu em bai dai nau. Em slip lo bed tasol na stap. Morning em kirap na lukim lapun meri kukim lamp flaps blo breakfast. Tingim em docta tambu lo em lo kaikai bikos em bai dai klostu, tasol paps kirap tasol putim han go lo kisim wanpla. Lapun mams kirap paitim han blo em na tokim em, oi lusim yah em blo haus karai blo yu yah.....

Health Education

From: 

Francis Dagg 



Apologies in advance. 


Tisa kirap askim ol students, ok yupla bin harim lo "period" blo ol meri bipo oh nogat. Kuti mangi lo baksait lo classroom kirap na bekim, yes tisa, las wik bikpla susa blo mi bin tok olsem em bin misim lo wanpla mun, man taim ol hauslain harim olsem em mama blo mi faint, papa blo mi kisim heart attack, na hausboi blo mipla runaway.

Anger Management


From: 

Francis Dagg



 

Paps: oi mama, how na nau mi save cross lo yu nau, yu no save bekim.
Mams: paps oh, taim yu save cross lo mi mi save go na klinim na brasim toilet.
paps: hey, how na?
Mams: stap isi, mi save yusim tooth brush blo yu. 

Tripla Spak Maik


From: Joyce Kuri 


Tripla spak maik stopim wanpla taxi cab na kalap long en. Driva skelim olsem olgeta i bom dai olgeta so em putim on engin blo car, putim off ken na tok ok mipla kamap pinis. Wanpla spak maik givim moni lo taxi driva na narapla tok tenkyu tasol last spak maik kam autsait lo car na lusim wanpla han lo pes blo driva. Driva ting olsem last spak maik i luk save lo rong blo em na em askim 'why yu paitim mi?' Last Spak maik kirap na tok 'yu longlong ah? why yu spidim car, inap lo yu kilim mipla ya' :)

Solwara i pundaun lon skai bikos lon Kolwara

From: Kingston Sitban




Displa em i kamap lon Enga lon Wapanemanda. Olgeta Lapun lon up ol i harim olsem wanpla blo oI go lon Mosbi na i kam bek wantaim nupela bikpela sik ol i kolim kolwara. Ol i harim olsem kolwara i kilim planti nambis man lo Mosbi yet na ol poret i stret lon displa sik.

Nau i gat wanpla lapun i save gut lon olgeta sik blon ples na blon ol waitman (self promote). Em i singautim olgeta manmeri lon ples lon kam bung nau em givim displa traipla toksave:

Aye Aye yubla ol manmeri, herim herim. Kain sik olsem ino bin kamab pibo pibo em kamab nau tete. Aste yumi thing em sik kolwara (cholera) yah. Nau tadol mi mbin harem lo radiyo (Tok pisin radio) nogat em solwara yah. Na emb ingo tu lon Siaban na kilim blanti manbmeri na emb wokim na wanbla blant ol i kolimb “yu klia Blant” emb i hot olsem sun. Na displa solwara nau em bai i kam pundaun lo yumi olsem rain.

They were misinformed in regards to Cholera. It is now well regarded in Enga as Kolwara.

Nupla na Olpla Hul


From: Joyce Kuri 

‎'Nupla na Olpla Hul'
Wanpla lapun papa i sik na go lo haus sik. Nes sekim em na tokim em 'papa yu silip lo bet na bai mi givim yu wanpla sut.' Lapun igo silip lo bet na bepo lo Nes is planim needle stret em tok 'pikini noken wokim nupla hul putim lo hul stap pinis ya'!! :)

Tok Pisin Jokes - PNG

Members Blog Created

I don't quite know yet where we can go with this. FaceBook announced the new changes while I was away working so I couldn't react in time to update our group.

As FB is not giving me any possibility to update, I decided to act for our group and for the things that make you and I as Papua New Guineans special. We have one of the healthiest joking cultures and joking relationships on the planet.

I've moved us to a blog for now - with the same name we use on FaceBook.

Also here, you can still read all the jokes that I had already managed to transfer away from FB because of its constant changes of design and purpose.

So now all that is left to do is to upgrade this blog in a way that you can easily contribute to it and also share its jokes on your own profiles.

Much Love to you all,

Martin